When I hear the topic of surrogacy, it brings to mind so many loaded questions. Who will regulate it? How will surrogates be chosen? Whose eggs? Whose sperm? What about compensation?
Why not adoption?
Years ago, I knew a family that chose to provide a surrogacy service to their friends. By saying “family that chose,” I mean that I believe that it has to be a decision that the whole family chooses. Many people think that it’s just up to the woman carrying the child(ren). I believe that it has to be a family choice, especially when there are other children in the home.
The family that I knew had older children, around the ages of 6 and 9. They knew that their mother was carrying a child for their “aunt and uncle”. They knew that the child wasn’t their sibling, but more of an extension of their family. It appeared to be a positive situation for all involved.
I’ve been the victim of infertility and the inability to carry a child to term. I understand how it feels to know that I might never have the chance to bear my own biological child. I can definitely see the appeal in searching out options, including In-Vitro Fertilization, or even surrogacy if it came to that. However, when it comes to strangers making the choice to be a gestational carrier for another family, I don’t agree that it’s 100% ethical. For example, take the Kehoes. Mr. & Mrs. Kehoe were infertile and because of that, Mrs. Kehoe chose to seek out the option of surrogacy. She handpicked the egg donor, the sperm donor, and the woman to carry their created child.
The creation was put together by another party, a fertility clinic. In all, there were five parties to creating the child—in this case, children, since the ensuing fertilization created twins. All seemed well until one month after the birth of the twins. The surrogate mother, Ms. Baker, learned that Mrs. Kehoe was being treated for mental illness. Ms. Baker then obtained a court order to retrieve them from the Kehoes.
I firmly believe that Mrs. Kehoe was unfairly discriminated for having an illness of which she had no control over. In her case, she was being closely monitored and medicated by her psychiatrist. Regardless of the type of mental illness, there should have been no discrimination. Ms. Baker signed a contract and she broke it.
Had the Kehoes and Bakers actually known each other, I think much of this controversy could have been avoided. The Bakers would most likely have been aware of any mental issues and made the choice to surrogate from that knowledge. Instead, Ms. Baker has chosen to use her body to produce children for other people. I don’t see how ethical that is—I see that as a way to make money. Even if the Bakers state that they aren’t doing it for the money, why else would they do it? Surely, there’s an incentive there for them.
Mr. Stephen Melinger, a 62 year old teacher in Union City, NJ, applied to find a surrogate mother through a website called Surrogate Mothers Inc (www.surrogatemothers.com). A red flag should have gone up to the administration of that company and they should have questioned his motives.
Not only was Mr. Melinger old enough to be the babies grandfather, but he lied about almost everything! He stated that he was born in Indiana and lived there. In fact, he was born in New York and his residence in Indiana was a hotel room. He claimed to be the sperm donor, but he wasn’t. Mr. Steven Litz, a lawyer for Surrogate Mothers, stated that it was tough to place bi-racial children. The surrogate might have been Black-American, but the babies she carried were eggs from a white donor.
Not only was Mr. Melinger proven to lie on several issues, but he showed lack of good judgment when it came to the health of his twin daughters (lack of weather-appropriate clothing, filthy/smelly home, etc). Those things should have been investigated BEFORE a decision was made to allow Mr. Melinger have children through a surrogate. After those lies, what makes anyone think that he could be telling the truth on other things? It makes me wonder how Surrogate Mothers, Inc can claim on their website that they’ve never had a case of failed surrogacy. I would consider the case of Mr. Melinger a FAIL.
As of now, different states have different rules and regulations, and when it comes to surrogacy, many people travel out of state. If they were to find a surrogate in another state, afterwards, they’d have to adopt in each state. If surrogacy is to be a viable option for people considering third-party reproduction, there needs to be a federal agency with checks and balances in place. It must be regulated with universal requirements, including mandatory background checks; psychological screening for both the surrogate family, and the adoptive family involved; several home visits; and set fees. The fees could vary from company to company, but these things need to be in writing with no hidden costs.
Regardless of national regulation, I firmly believe that third party reproduction should be limited, if not eliminated. Our world is already populated with millions of orphans. I’ve worked as a foster parent in Washington State and I have seen the need for quality foster /adoptive parents. If someone were to seek a surrogate and be willing to pay $50,000 or more for a pregnancy, then I think that they should also look into adoption. It wouldn’t cost nearly that amount. And much of the time, raising adopted children can be just as rewarding as raising your own.
(Sources: NY Times article Surrogate Mothers Indy.com)
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